Tuesday, February 28

Quote For Today

Comic Book Guy: "No banging your head on the display case please, it contains a very rare Mary Worth in which she has advised a friend to commit suicide. Thank you."

Best. Quote. Ever.

Monday, February 27

Cranky, And Older Too

Happy belated birthday to Doug Stanley!

I Can't Hear You

I suppose it was inevitable. After enduring the JFK incident, which was caused in part by the Blizzard of '06, I have bought a pair of Bose QuietComfort 2 headphones.

They cost as much as an iPod!

I never would have thought about dropping so much money on earphones, especially becausee the plain white Apple earbuds work fine for me, but eight hours on the jetway at JFK makes a man reconsider what he's willing to pay for a modicum of peace and quiet.

Thursday, February 23

Overheard By Dave In New York

A lifelong dream -- fulfilled! Overheard in New York printed my submission. You can find it here.

You can imagine how hard it is to overhear New York conversations when you live in Tampa. I overheard this gem earlier this month when Britt and I were in New York -- the weekend of the blizzard. Here's the item:

Hobo: The tax man has a licence to kill. No questions asked. More people should know that.

--5th Avenue-53rd Street station

Overheard by: Tzvi Tampa

Tuesday, February 21

I Think I See A Trend

Here is a picture taken in November 2004 of Britt at Cardiff Castle:

And here is a picture taken earlier this month of my mother at Cardiff Castle:

What does this mean? Is it a mere coincidence, or is it the work of unseen cosmic forces, drawing both Britt and my mother to the same spot in the same castle for reasons we mere humans could never explain -- nor even comprehend?

Oh, it's the coincidence. Of course. Duh.

Friday, February 17

Today's Horoscope

This is my horoscope for today:

Butting heads with those in authority might feel momentarily satisfying, but is there an easier way around this problem? Find a likeminded potential conspirator and put your heads together to find a solution.

I don't believe in astrology, but I'm always amused when the predictions I read in the paper appear to line up exactly with what I'm dealing with in real life.

Wednesday, February 15

Valentine's Day

Britt went to Las Vegas yesterday a conference (or so he says) but he sent me these wonderful flowers. They are so pretty and witty and ... well, you know the rest.

I love you too, Britt.

Sunday, February 12


Greetings from the Starbucks in Trump Tower on Fifth Avenue. Britt and I have come here to escape from the cold. Lots of other people have too. Snagging two seats took all of our combined wile.

There is no shortage of marble and bronze here in the main lobby of Trump Tower. If you love shiny surfaces, this is where to come.

Snowy Sunday

Greetings from New York City, where Britt and I are experiencing the "Blizzard of '06," as it's being called on TV. Central Park sits under nearly 23 inches of snow, which makes this the second-heaviest snowfall in city history, meteorological folks say.

The snow is quite fun. We trekked outside this morning and the snow came up nearly to my knees in some spots. Park Avenue wasn't plowed, but Lexington Avenue was.

JFK is still open, and it looks like our flight this evening is still scheduled, so we should be back in Tampa late tonight.

Tuesday, February 7

Say It Again, Ned

Gem from tonight's Simpsons (a rerun):

Ned Flanders: "Homer, I'm as permissive as the next parent. I mean, just yesterday I let Todd buy some Red Hots with a cartoon devil on the box."

Must See New Teevee

Britt and I have replaced our 36" Panasonic TV (which was damaged by lightning a few days ago) with a 32" Sony Trinitron set. The screen is smaller but the picture quality is spectacular. (Yes, we would have liked a fancy new plasma or LCD HDTV, but the price tags were just a little bit out of our league.)

Now we can watch all those splendiferous TV shows we like, such as ... um ...

Maybe we should have saved our money.

Here, for your edification, is the Simon Wiesenthal Center's statement on the Mohammed cartoon conflagration:

The Simon Wiesenthal Center said today that the worldwide protests in the Moslem world to the cartoons published in Europe raises the bar of what Christians and Jews have a right to expect from Arab and Moslem leaders when their religions are regularly defamed and desecrated in the Arab press and on Arab television.

“Today, the Foreign Minister of Egypt demanded from Kofi Annan that the Danes apologize and Jordan has jailed the Editor of the newspaper that published the cartoons,” said Rabbi Marvin Hier, founder and dean of the Wiesenthal Center. "But where are those same government leaders when their television stations and newspapers write or carry programs that deny the Holocaust, depict Jewish rabbis of draining the blood of Arab children to bake matzohs for Passover, and depict Jewish doctors as carving out the eyes of Arab children to give to Jews? Then the response of the Arab world has always been their inability to interfere with freedom of the press,” he continued. “Apparently that inability no longer exists when Moslems are the target of defamation,” Hier concluded.

Also, I'd like to point out an AP story which says an Iranian newspaper is seeking Holocaust-related cartoons. The story says:

A prominent Iranian newspaper said Tuesday it would hold a competition for cartoons on the Holocaust to test whether the West extends the principle of freedom of expression to the Nazi genocide as it did to the caricatures of the Prophet Muhammad.

Hamshahri, one of Iran's largest papers, made clear the contest is a reaction to European newspapers' publication of Danish cartoons of the Prophet Muhammad, which have led to demonstrations, boycotts and attacks on European embassies across the Islamic world. Several people have been killed.

... [Iranian President Mahmoud] Ahmadinejad, who was Tehran's mayor until being elected president in June, provoked outcries last year when he said on separate occasions that Israel should be "wiped off the map" and the Holocaust was a "myth."

... Hamshahri invited foreign cartoonists to enter the competition.

"Does the West extend freedom of expression to the crimes committed by the United States and Israel, or an event such as the Holocaust? Or is its freedom only for insulting religious sanctities?" Hamshahri wrote, referring to the Prophet Muhammad cartoons.

Of course, I dare not weigh in with my thoughts on this very important subject, lest certain people learn I am capable of forming and expressing rational opinions. In fact, our motto here at the Daily Dave 2.0 is: "We do not dare weigh in with our thoughts on very important subjects, or any subjects whatsoever, lest certain people learn we are capable of forming and expressing rational opinions."

It's not a very good motto, is it.

Monday, February 6

Lazy Monday

SNL's "Lazy Sunday" has met its match.

The Anti-Defamation League makes the following point in its recent statement about the Mohammed cartoons that ran in the Danish newspaper:

What has been overlooked in the controversy is the fact that despicable anti-Jewish caricatures appear daily in newspapers across the Arab and Muslim world. While invoking the supposed "freedom of the press" in their countries, Arab and Muslim leaders have refused to take any action to stem the drumbeat of anti-Semitism in widely circulated newspapers, many state-sponsored. Indeed, leaders of regimes such as Egypt and Saudi Arabia have virtually ignored appeals from the United States and Jewish organizations to put an end to incitement in their media, excusing it in the name of "freedom of the press." One would hope that leaders of Arab and Muslim countries would turn all of the anger being aimed at the European press into a larger lesson for their own people about the power of images.

I, of course, am only bringing someone else's viewpoint to your attention, not offering my own opinion. I live in constant fear of upsetting my corporate masters.

Today's Memo: Kanye West

To: Kanye West
From: Dave Simanoff
Subject: “Gold Digger”
Date: Thursday, February 2, 2006

You are, in fact, saying she is a gold digger. I am not fooled by the paralipsis.

Saturday, February 4

Goodnight, my fair Panasonic

Goodnight, my fair Panasonic
Originally uploaded by Dave Sim.
Our TV, killed by lightning on Friday, is laid to rest on Saturday at Tampa's McKay Bay garbage collection center.

Rest in peace, dear friend.