Sunday, July 29

More Mustachioed Words Of Wisdom

Aaron Perlut (my red hot hetero lover in St. Louis, and the brains behind the American Mustache Institute, in case you missed the previous post) forwards the following two pictures to the Daily Dave.

In this picture, Aaron shows off his own mustache. It's fabulous in a 1970s kind of way. It's the sort of mustache I expect to find on an aging cardboard baseball card, not attached to the lip of one of the funniest public relations and communications guys I know.

This second picture was taken a while ago, because Aaron hadn't yet grown his mustache. Aaron is posing with some guy who looks suspiciously like a smutty Mario from the Super Mario Brothers games. Aaron insists this person has been in hundreds of movies, but I can't say I can recognize him from any movie I have ever seen.

I've got to say this about Aaron: I don't get to interact with him often, but he never fails to make an impression on me. He's handsome, clever and knows how to be sarcastic without being cruel. I know when I see a new message from Aaron in my inbox, it's the start of a long volley of e-mail messages and replies that will brighten my day.

On Friday, after Aaron thanked me for my original post about the American Mustache Institute ("Um, Skip, I just shit myself. Well done my friend."), I asked him if he'd agree to a quick follow-up Q&A for Daily Dave readers. Of course, he said yes. Here's how it went.

Q. What is your earliest mustache memory?

A. As a child my two closest uncles had large, manly mustaches that I always admired for the left-over food they could save in them. Why pack a lunch when you could carry a meal on your upper lip?

Q. What inspired you to grow your first mustache?

A. As I would stroll down the street and see these slack-jawed humanoid with bare upper lips, I perceived a sense of weakness. A real man -- a strong man -- wears a thick coating of fur on his mustache and that’s the kind of man I wanted to be.

Q. What is your favorite style of mustache?

A. I tend to favor the Fu Manchu, as it is similar to the world’s largest mustache -- the St. Louis Arch.

Q. Why do you believe so many people have such negative attitudes about mustaches and the men who wear them?

A. A good question. One that deserves a carefully thought out answer. But in the absence of that, I would suggest that is one of the tasks the American Mustache Institute is set to explore. A mustache think tank is something this nation needs. Why is there such a negative perception of the mustache? Why is the mustached American discriminated against to this day? Who invented liquid soap and why? These are the hard questions we intend to explore.

Q. What are you hoping to achieve with the American Mustache Institute?

A. Besides world peace, of course, AMI is focused on protecting the rights of, and fighting discrimination against, mustached Americans by promoting the growth, care, and culture of the mustache. We are the ACLU of mustaches, and like the ACLU, we are hated by many including a rogue part of the Barber’s Union, The Amalgamated Metro-sexuality Local No. 14, all the residents of Provo, Utah, and my former neighbor in Raleigh, N.C., who doesn’t care about mustaches but he hated that I didn’t walk my dog on a leash. More importantly, we battle negative stereotyping that has accompanied the mustache since those glory years of the 1970s -- the peak of mustache acceptance -- fighting to create a climate of acceptance, understanding, flavor saving, and upper lip warmth for all mustached Americans alike.

Q. Why did you limit the institute to the United States? Would you consider founding a World Mustache Institute in the future?

A. Mustache acceptance is far greater in other parts of the world with the exception of the Dutch -- where there is an equal -- if not greater bias against mustached humanoids. So for now, we shall focus our efforts on the mustached American.

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