Friday, August 31

The Four Questions At The Start Of A Three-Day Weekend

I don't wanna work. I just wanna bang on the Four Questions all day.

Q. What is Dave wearing?
A. Dave is wearing an old-timey nightshirt. Britt is wearing a similar nightshirt. They look like the gay couple from "The Little House on the Prairie."

Q. How does Dave feel today?
A. Dave feels optimistic.

Q. What are the factors affecting Dave's mood today?
A. Dave is ecstatic that the three-day weekend has begun. He's also looking forward to seeing some of the stories he has been working on run in the Tribune on Sunday and Monday.

Q. Hey, wait a second -- what gay couple from "The Little House on the Prairie"?
A. Dave confesses he has never actually seen an episode of "The Little House on the Prairie." However, he would like to believe that, at some point in history, a gay or lesbian person could have turned on the television and seen a reasonably fair representation of his or her life. Dave certainly hasn't seen much evidence of that this week. He did see a lot of news pundits telling a lot of viewers that gay men are prowling public places at all times in search of sex with strangers. Dave saw a lot of the same foolishness on the Internet, such as an report titled "Secret Signals: How Gay Men Cruise for Sex." When Dave sees and reads these things, he does not see and hear himself and Britt -- or anyone else he knows.

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