Thursday, August 30

Today's Memo: Citi AAdvantage

To: The people in charge of marketing at Citi AAdvantage cards
From: Dave
Date: Aug. 30
Subject: Important account information

You fuckers! When you put "Important account information," "notification of change" and "action requested" on the outside of the fucking envelope, I expect important account information, notification about changes and something that may need my timely fucking attention inside the envelope. I do not expect there to be a fucking solicitation to upgrade my Citi AAdvantage Visa gold card to a Citi AAdvantage Visa plantinumfucker card. That is not important account information. That is a fucking advertisement.

Oh, I know you can put whatever the fuck you want on the outside of your envelopes. In fact, you marketing fuckers probably think you've done a great fucking job, because you got me to open an envelope that ordinarily I would have thrown away. Well, guess what, fuckwads? You've made me feel like a fucking idiot. How much fucking goodwill do you think that's going to cost you in the long run?

Fuck fuckity fuck-fuck-fuck.

You AAssholes.

Disclaimer: This post should not be construed as the author's viewpoints of Citibank or American Airlines. It is only an expression of anger, directed solely at those fucking fuckers who designed the fucking envelope. As a journalist, the author does not have any opinions about anything at all.

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