Saturday, August 11

Viva Las Four Questions

What happens in Las Vegas stays in Las Vegas. Unless, of course, it ends up in the Four Questions.

Q. What is Dave wearing today?
A. As of 11 a.m. Pacific Daylight Time, Dave is wearing the same exact clothes he was wearing yesterday. This means one of two things: either, Dave and Britt arrived in Las Vegas, dropped off their bags quickly at the hotel, and have been carousing around town since that time; or, Dave and Britt arrived in Las Vegas, reached their hotel room, collapsed in bed, woke up hungry but were too lazy to shower and shave, so they just threw on yesterday's clothes and headed downstairs for breakfast.

Q. How does Dave feel today?
A. Dave feels like he needs to take an extra-long shower.

Q. What are the factors affecting Dave's mood today?
A. Dave anticipates that heat will affect his mood today. The temperature in Las Vegas is expected to be approximately one billion degrees. Of course, as many people have pointed out, there isn't much humidity so it should be OK.

Q. Hey, why didn't Dave specify whether he's still in yesterday's clothes because he's returning from a wild night on the town or because he's returning from breakfast?
A. Dave is mysterious. He is a riddle, wrapped in an enigma, smeared with McDonald's Secret Sauce and locked away in the vault where Coca-Cola keeps its top-secret formula. (Dave ordered the pancakes, and Britt had the huevos rancheros.)

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