Wednesday, September 5

Sitting In *$'s, Writing The 4?'s

It's time for a half-caf venti mocha latte Four Questions on ice, and a cinnamon blueberry scone.

Q. What is Dave wearing?
A. Dave is wearing a light blue polo shirt and a pair of khaki chinos. Underneath his mild-manner reporter's uniform, he is wearing a superhero uniform. This is usual.

Q. How does Dave feel today?
A. Dave feels the caffeine coursing through his body, like a million tiny Hummers on speeding on the interstate, rudely cutting off every other vehicle.

Q. What are the factors affecting Dave's mood today?
A. Dave points to the large iced coffee to his left. He thinks this should explain why he is feeling quite caffeinated at this point.

Q. Has Dave just been distracted by the incredibly buff, large, handsome man with sculpted, Adonis-like biceps and calf muscles -- the one in the Marines T-shirt and black shorts -- who just entered Starbucks?
A. Wha?

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