Sunday, September 9

The Unkindest Cut

Driving home from Jacksonville to Tampa, Britt and and I passed a billboard somewhere near Deland promoting a local vasectomy doctor.

I wasn't too shocked to see the word "vasectomy" in big letters on the side of the road. I was, however, a little puzzled by the "No needle! No scapel!" claim at the top of the billboard.

WTF? Needles and scapels are small, precise medical tools. I'm not in the market for a vasectomy, but if I were, I'd assume that the doctor would use the most appropriate instrument to make a small incision in the, er, place it needed to be made.

If not a scalpel or needle, then what? Swiss army knife? Axe? Rusty chain saw?

Britt suggested lasers might be a possibility. I thought immediately of "Goldfinger."

Like I said a few paragraphs ago, I'm not in the market for a vasectomy. Don't think I ever will be. But if the occasion ever arises, I'm pretty sure I'm not seeking out this particular doctor in Deland. Perhaps he thought he'd be setting people's minds at ease by touting that he doesn't use scalpels or needles. Instead, he's got me much too worried about what kind of alternative methods he might have waiting inside the operating theater.

The rest of the trip was uneventful. We stopped for dinner in Orlando, and got into Tampa just as the sun was melting into the horizon. I got an excellent photograph:

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