Thursday, November 29

I Do Not Want What I Haven't Got, Part III

The Skymall catalog is an endless font of things I do not want.

On flights, I'll often rifle through the pages, pointing out certain items to Complementary Spouse Britt Shirley.

If you ever bring this into our home, I usually say, I will divorce you.

This, of course is an idle threat. I would never, ever divorce Britt. This is because we cannot get married, so there is no way we can get divorced. I would simply leave him if he were to bring these things home.

I have just discovered that the Skymall catalog exists online, at, so I no longer need to buy a plane ticket and endure the security lines in order to discover the latest offerings at Hammacher Schlemmer.

On my last flight, I saw, of all things, a Freddie Mercury figurine. Here is the picture as it appears on the online site:

Freddy Mercury doll on Skymall Web site screengrab

Here is the description:

18" Freddie Mercury Action Figure with Sound: The legendary Queen vocalist now comes in 18" action figure form! Freddie comes with a ball jointed neck and articulated shoulders for added customization. Motion activated triggers bring forth a medley of classic Queen songs! Figure comes complete with microphone and stand.

This costs $44.95. Please add it to the lengthy list of things I do not want.

(Previous installments of I Do Not Want What I Haven't Got: Part I, Part II.)

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