Tuesday, November 13

There's More Than One Answer To These Four Questions

I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains. I looked to the children, I drank from the fountains. There's more than one answer to these questions pointing me in a crooked line. And the less I seek my source for some definitive, the closer I am to fine -- and the Four Questions.

Q. What is Dave wearing?
A. Dave is wearing a pair of dark brown pants and a black polo shirt.

Q. How does Dave feel today?
A. Dave's a little tired. Thank you for asking.

Q. What are the factors affecting Dave's mood today?
A. Dave is stumped. He's trying to figure out what to get the different members of his family for Hanukkah, and can't think of anything. He always tries to think of useful, meaningful gifts -- but usually ends up frustrated, and running out to Target, Best Buy or Borders for impersonal gift cards.

Q. What song does Dave reference in today's Four Questions title and introduction?
A. Dave is referencing the Indigo Girls' "Closer to Fine," one of the greatest songs of all time. The lyrics are brilliant: it's "You Can't Always Get What You Want" for philosophy majors. An excerpt:

And I went to see the doctor of philosophy
With a poster of Rasputin and a beard down to his knee
He never did marry or see a B-grade movie
He graded my performance, he said he could see through me
I spent four years prostrate to the higher mind
Got my paper and I was free.

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