Monday, November 12

Today's Memo: Tailgater

To: The idiot tailgater in the Saturn SUV, following me in Manatee County Saturday afternoon
From: Dave
Date: Monday, Nov. 12
Subject: Basic driving skills

You fucking moron! If I can't see your front wheels in my rear view mirror, you are driving waaaaaay too close to my vehicle.

You leadfooted asshole! You're in such a hurry to get somewhere that you're risking your safety and mine. If we get into an accident, you're going to be very late, aren't you?

You don't have superhuman reflexes. Even if you did, your vehicle can't stop on a dime. You should leave more than a few molecules of space between our cars.

If I were a callous man -- and if I didn't have to worry about hurting anyone, or dealing with insurance companies, or the costs involved in repairing my car or replacing it -- I would have slammed on my brakes, just to teach you a lesson.

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