Thursday, December 6

Schmuck Of The Day

The parking lot at Starbucks was jam-packed this morning, but that didn't stop this asshole from taking up two spots for his shiny red Mercedes:

Shmuck of the Day

Let's all honor this schmuck by singing a few lines from Ben Folds' "There's Always Someone Cooler Than You," shall we?

Like you've got nothing to prove
No matter what you might do
There's always someone out there cooler than you

Beneath the veneer ...
Not everybody made the list this year
Have a beer

Make me feel tiny if it makes you feel tall
But there's always someone cooler than you

Yeah, you're the shit but you won't be here for long
Oh, there's always someone cooler than you
Yeah, there's always someone cooler than you

Enjoy your Mercedes, schmuck! By the way, did you know that the C Class is the cheapest type of Mercedes sold in the United States? And that it's made in Tuscaloosa, Alabama? This means your precious automobile, the one that needs protective barrier around it, so that it doesn't come in contact with the unwashed heathens or their hoi polloi Hondas and Toyotas, can trace its lineage back on the family tree back to the cheap-ass vehicle that the Beverly Hillbillies drove to Californ-I-A.

You fuckwit.

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