Friday, February 1

What I've Been Doing

I try to update the Daily Dave every day -- or, at the least, every weekday. Sadly, I have been lapse in my blogging duties this past week. Please let me offer my humble apologies to my legions of fans around the world, and tell you what I've been doing:

MONDAY: Began inventing my own language, using only vowels and consonants D, L and W. Terminated my efforts when I discovered such a language already exists: it is Welsh.

TUESDAY: Started reading "The Secret," the bestselling New Age self-help book that claims positive thinking are the key to wealth, health and happiness. Completed the book in one sitting. Instead of thinking of wealth, health an happiness, I found myself thinking of women's undergarments. Realized that I had accidentally read the Victoria's Secret catalogue instead of "The Secret."

WEDNESDAY: Qualified for U.S. Olympic Unicycle Hockey Team. Was later informed that there is no U.S. Olympic Unicycle Hockey Team. In hindsight, I realize (a) it was foolish to pay the $500 qualification fee entirely in cash and (b) it was odd to be accepted to the team when I have never ridden a unicycle.

THURSDAY: Founded the Tampa Bay chapter of the Michael Showalter fan club after seeing "The Baxter" on DVD. Mr. Showalter has already mailed me a fan kit, or, as his lawyers call it, a "restraining order."

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