On a cold and gray Chicago morn, four little questions are born in the ghetto -- in the ghetto

Q. What is Dave wearing?

A. As Dave has just woke up, he is still wearing his Hannah Montana footie pajamas.

Q. What kind of mood is Dave in?

A. Dave wishes he were in the subjunctive mood.

Q. What are the factors affecting Dave's mood?

A. Dave is an English major.

Q. Was Dave shocked by Aretha Franklin's hat at yesterday's inauguration ceremony?

A. Dave was very surprised to see Aretha Franklin's hat, as he was wearing an identical hat at that exact moment.